Thoughts on the New Year

In all his future publications
the writer would many times
refer back to this time and describe
the year 2013 as his epiphany

One single continuous epiphany
all be it for occasional lapses
and but for several interruptions

A continuous flow of inspiration
and dutiful inscription sustained
from January to December

Throughout all twelve months
of that extraordinary year

-

I say ok to education
But which kind of education ?

And I say ok to democracy
But which kind of democracy ?

And to death also I say ok
if that is what must be

But which kind of death will it be ?
We'll have to wait and see

-

Loyalty to royalty
lies heavy on the heart

Long live the King

The King must die

The King is dead

We start to sing His praise
expecting Him to come

The King of Kings is ours

Close Your Eyes

Close your eyes
and open them again

Then try to look around
and see every time you blink

As once again returning
from the vision of the Dharmadatu

Arising in the Form of the Deity

Who presides as witness
to enjoyment of the senses

Of Wisdom and Bliss and endless
realisation of Truth in the Pure Land

-

Taste the words

In the movement
of your mouth and lungs

Muscles shaping syllables and vowels
as the breath departs your body

Imparting blessings to all beings
in all directions and all times

Reassuring them
that through their suffering

At last Peace can be found

-

Reassuring them of this
that through their pain and suffering

At last Peace can be found

Honour and Obey

I write these lines before the dawn
beneath the shadow of the moon

I write these lines to please myself
and keep the company of angels

But there's a voice inside my head
which tells me to obey

If you'll do anything I say
how could you throw my books away ?

Now learn this well and keep it safe
within your memory

And teach the children how to read
their lessons in philosophy

For wisdom found by memorising
lines of ancient poetry

And guidance that you find
in poems of prophetic scripture

Remember angels who forget
shed tears and fearing for the future

Too late to make amends
they feel regret for their demonic nature

O ye women of so little faith
so stubborn hard to tame

Give praises due to God and pray
in the Good Lord's name

How dare you throw away like this
my school books and my stories ?

Beyond a Mother's duty true
you know you have no right

O ye women of so little faith
so stubborn hard to tame

Give praises due to God
and pray together in His name

I write these lines to pass the time
and also to remember

On the morning of the last day
in the dark month of December

Granny and the Egg

-1-

Don't try telling Granny
how to suck an egg

All these years she's managed
and she does it very well

She makes a little hole
and then she gives a little pull

Sucking in her cheeks so well
until her mouth is full

She's puffing out her cheeks
and now she's sucking with a will

She'll press her lips around it
till it's just an empty shell


-2-

Don't try telling Granny
how to suck an egg

She'd much prefer it if you learned
to show respect instead

So wait your turn and listen
when she says what must be said

You're far too young to understand
so knock it on the head

Can you appreciate it
when she shows a bit of leg ?

(Or is your) brain soft and runny
like the yolk in Granny's egg ?


-CHORUS-

'Cos Granny likes an egg
when she has a cup of tea

So mind you say your Ps and Qs
and thank you if you please

Yes mind you say excuse me
thank you very much indeed

And now she'll wash that egg
down with a lovely cup of tea


-3-

No don't try telling Granny
'cos she's really very sweet

She'll chew it with her gums
and then she'll stamp her little feet

She'll push and wiggle with her tongue
and rattle her false teeth

She'll make the children giggle
till they bounce right off their seat

She'll hold it tight between her knees
and give that egg a squeeze

So mind you say excuse me
thank you very much indeed


-CHORUS-

(Now we) really mean this most sincerely
if you're thinking she's a tease

Why don't you ask just try asking her
to show you if you please ?

(Yes you) only have to ask her nicely
Please say please and thank you

(Say) please and thank you and excuse me
Thank you very much indeed


-REFRAIN-

Raw or boiled or poached eggs
with salt and pepper too

Fried or scrambled
on some toast

Would you like one or two ?

-

Raw boiled poached
fried scrambled over-easy ... (x3)

-

If you can't see the funny side
she'll take it on the sunny side

Up and down see Granny go ...
she's sucking on an egg

-

Wham bam
Thank you Ma'am

Can she do it ?
Yes she can

She knows how to do it and ...

She'll tell you how you do it
if you want to suck an egg


-CHORUS-

She's tried it with an egg cup
and she's tried it with a spoon

She tried it in the sunlight
and beneath the big fat moon

She tried it in the morning
also in the afternoon

And in the evening when she's done
she falls down in a swoon


-4-

You'll discover soon enough
it's time to end this tune

So don't try telling Granny
'cos she'll tell you what to do

No don't try telling Granny
how to suck an egg

She'll tell you all what for
and then she'll send you off to bed

No don't try telling Granny
how to suck an egg

(She'll be) sucking eggs all day
that's true until the day she's dead

In Praise of My Wife

All praise to Lin Fang

Our Empress
and Hero of the World

Ten thousand no
One hundred thousand

Comely maidens
with pert and gorgeous
breasts displayed

And fine pink nipples
all up standing

Sway from side to side
and lift their slender arms

And dance in unison
and sing her praises

They sing out loud with
melodious and charming chorus

As She rides past
the crowds adoring Her

She's mounted on
a noble white elephant

Resplendent with ornament
of precious jewels and golden glow
upon Her Throne of Royal Stone

Taken from the Holy Mountain
in the West with the blessing of the best

With pomp and pride

And celebrated guests
admiring Her achievements

My Faithful Dog

My faithful dog is happy
'cos he knows when we get home

I'll make his bed and after tea
give him a juicy bone

-

When you go walking with your dog
you'll never be alone

But when you lose him
you can't call him
on your mobile phone

He's out there somewhere

When he barks
somehow you always know

That he'll come home
'cos he would never
leave you on your own

-

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
See round and round he goes

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
He'll chase them high and low

Up the hill and down the hole
and under rocks and stones

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
and everybody knows

Dogs like chasing rabbits
'cos it keeps them on their toes

-

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
He's rolling in the snow

Now you see him
Now you don't

And so the saying goes

When you get home
he'll wag his tail

And kiss you on the nose

-

He'll smile and wag his tail
'cos that's his way to say hello

He does that 'cos he loves you
and he's happy to be home

And after tea he'll go to bed
and chew his favourite bone

-

My faithful dog is happy
'cos he knows when we get home

I'll make his bed and after tea
give him a juicy bone

Farewell to the Dame

I'm going to miss the wild applause
and large sums of money

Do you know when I appear before you
on that stage my gynaecologist
is still washing his hands ?

Isn't that a wonderful thought !

Now let me tell you dear listeners
John Humphrys is an adorable man
and he's looking at my frock

Is he thinking who
would look nice in that ?

Well let me tell you
she couldn't afford it

Oh yes I do like to invest in my clothes

My son designed this frock
Isn't it marvellous ?

Do you know he was born
exactly nine months after I saw
Frank Sinatra perform in a concert

And the gutter press are still
trying make something out of that