a bolt out of the blue
I like a drink or two
'cos I don't know
what else I ought to do
----
Part of me says yes
and part of me says no
Sometimes I get the feeling
and sometimes the feeling grows
----
But when I have a drink
That's when
I think I ought to know
----
Some believe in God
because they're made in His image
But I was made by someone else
just like a bacon sandwich
----
I know I'll meet my maker
'cos I'm just made of meat
That's dead meat on the slab
and odd bits of legs and feet
----
So I've been looking
for that man
They say he has my name
They call him
Doctor Frankenstein
Yes he's the one to blame
----
And when at last I find him
You know
I'll ask him this
Why do I like
to drink so much
and go out on the piss ?
----
Is that really how you made me
with the kiss of life ?
By drinking from the bottle
for a life without a wife ?
----
Or was it just a wind up ?
The turn of a screw
that put me where I am today
That's what I'd like to ask you
----
Why do you make these monsters
who haunt the night time streets ?
Of all your friends I think
there's just two I'd like to meet
----
To go out on the town
sometime would make my life complete
One night with Jack and Stella
Now that would be a treat
----
That's Jack as in Daniels
Jack Daniels I presume
And Stella
he comes with her
when they walk into the room
----
You might ask me why I love them so
But really you should know
They make me smile when I feel sad
and give my face a glow
----
Why don't you
say you're sorry now ?
Why don't you stop to think ?
I go out with Jack and Stella
'cos that's what I like to drink
----
I could tell you all my story
but I don't know where to start
Two shots of Jack or half a pint
of Stella Artois ?
----
Mary Shelley wrote about me
when she put me in her book
You can read all about it
if you want to take a look
----
But no one knows
how it goes
In the end for Frankenstein
Did he stick to beer and bourbon
or just have a glass of wine ?
----
I think you'll know the answer
when you hear us sing this song
'Cos nothing gets you drunker faster
than the drink that is too strong
----
So I went out with Stella
and somehow we made it home
We left old Jack where he was
just drinking on his own
----
My dear says Frank to Stella
Now I get these awful itches
Every time the rain
gets in there underneath my stitches
----
Jack Daniels is the drink for me
He helps me oil my joints
I could try some other brand instead
but really what's the point
----
This bolt that's in my neck you know
it's starting to get rusty
And when I've had too much to drink
I don't think you can trust me
----
Stella says to Frank one day
Come under my umbrella
Don't go out with that other guy
'cos he's a nasty fella
----
Stay with me
I'll keep you dry
in any kind of weather
Don't break your heart
Don't fall apart
Just keep yourself together
----
Frank and Stella are an item now
They're doing very well
They left poor old Jack behind
just sitting on the shelf
----
'Cos when Frank goes out with Stella
he can't think of no one else
He pours her out of her can
and drinks to her good health
----
He'll press his lips to the rim
Pull the ring and give a twist
Then pour the liquid out
and drink it down like this
----
Frank goes out
with Jack sometimes
Now he's out with Stella
I've got a few more
cans back home
So what else can he tell her ?
----
They found a load of body parts
and put me all together
That's why I like to go out now
with good old Jack and Stella
----
You know I am a monster
I'm a man of many parts
If you cut me into pieces
then you'd find a broken heart
----
Doctor JD he's my friend
I know he's on my side
I go out with him
then come back with Mr. Hyde
----
That other doctor told me once
that he'd find me a bride
He never did you see
Indeed that's why
I know he lied
----
So I've been looking
for that man
They say he has my name
They call him
Doctor Frankenstein
Yes he's the one to blame
----
And when at last I find him
You know
I'll ask him this
Why do I like
to drink so much
and go out on the piss ?
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