My Faithful Dog

My faithful dog is happy
'cos he knows when we get home

I'll make his bed and after tea
give him a juicy bone

-

When you go walking with your dog
you'll never be alone

But when you lose him
you can't call him
on your mobile phone

He's out there somewhere

When he barks
somehow you always know

That he'll come home
'cos he would never
leave you on your own

-

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
See round and round he goes

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
He'll chase them high and low

Up the hill and down the hole
and under rocks and stones

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
and everybody knows

Dogs like chasing rabbits
'cos it keeps them on their toes

-

He's chasing rabbits in the wood
He's rolling in the snow

Now you see him
Now you don't

And so the saying goes

When you get home
he'll wag his tail

And kiss you on the nose

-

He'll smile and wag his tail
'cos that's his way to say hello

He does that 'cos he loves you
and he's happy to be home

And after tea he'll go to bed
and chew his favourite bone

-

My faithful dog is happy
'cos he knows when we get home

I'll make his bed and after tea
give him a juicy bone

Farewell to the Dame

I'm going to miss the wild applause
and large sums of money

Do you know when I appear before you
on that stage my gynaecologist
is still washing his hands ?

Isn't that a wonderful thought !

Now let me tell you dear listeners
John Humphrys is an adorable man
and he's looking at my frock

Is he thinking who
would look nice in that ?

Well let me tell you
she couldn't afford it

Oh yes I do like to invest in my clothes

My son designed this frock
Isn't it marvellous ?

Do you know he was born
exactly nine months after I saw
Frank Sinatra perform in a concert

And the gutter press are still
trying make something out of that

Just Like Me

Jesus was a Buddha
and Buddha is the Christ

I love both together
'cos both are very nice

Together I love both of them
because they're very nice

Yes I'm a Christian and a Buddhist
'cos both are very nice

-

Mohammed was a teacher
and so was Jesus Christ
a messenger from Allah
who lives in Paradise

Yes Buddha was a teacher
and so was Jesus Christ
a messenger from Allah
who lives in Paradise

-

I'm a Muslim Christian Buddhist
and I love the Trinity

If you love everybody
O then you're just like me

'Cos I love everybody
because they're just like me

If you love everybody
You're just like me

-

We don't want to suffer
and we want to be happy

If you love everybody
O then you're just like me

We want to be happy
and we want to be free

Yeah that's why
everybody is just like me

-

Just like me
Yeah just like me

That's why
everybody is just like me

In the Garden

We are here in the garden

If we stray we still return
forgiving sins and giving pardon
training patience in the mind

We're here to learn to love each other
to be gentle and be kind

Call me mad or call me bonkers

Love and patience conquers all

Out of murky swamp grow slender
shoots of lovely lotus plants and buds
of hope soon come appearing

Petals open in the sunlight
and delight the eyes of all

Everyone who comes to see them
knows that in their hearts believing
love will hear their call

Love comes fast
or love comes slowly
and protects us when we fall

But at last we hear the answer
Love will conquer all

Angel of Love

In another atmosphere of love 

the contract once we made has 

sadly now been broken 

Dearest love you must depart 

You can not hold me to that pact 

You must dear heart bid me adieu 

And should we meet by chance in passing 

when we have been so long estranged 

you'll say like pulse of wings excited 

never have you beat retreat so fast 

or seen the likes of me before 

You fell headlong through the clouds 

and heard the slamming of the door 

Behind it there you still recite 

vain hopes of one day reuniting 

lovers who were two in one 

One love the victim and the other lover 

perpetrator of the vicious crime 

Remember Birkenhead

Why should I be ashamed
of what I do
simply because
I must ?

Because the darkness
will engulf you

And the light
will fade too soon

We left our station
when the order
was to stand

To let the women
and the children go

Before the calling of the man

Into the boats to row to shore
to live a better life than ours

Because we gave way to conceit

Discarding that which Thou hast made

And held ourselves in the belief
that we would be forgiven

What was that thought
I had in mind ?

I don't know

Can't remember

Show me good evidence
of truth and tell me now

Who can forecast the weather ?

What we did
was not our best

But not a trace was left

Why should I be ashamed
of what I do ?

Why you say
I'll tell you why

Simply because you must

Satan's Song

To try to make you listen

I won't burn out my soul

to keep you warm beside the fire

when winter nights grow cold


For the privilege of playing for you

when you're wise and old

you'll know the young and foolish

have to do what they're told


Oh yes I'll make the effort

but I won't pay the toll

To cross the River Styx

you'll have to cross his palm with gold


'Cos Satan is the boatman

who rows the boat to Hell

and you'll hear the dead souls screaming

when they ring the Mission Bell


So when you buy your ticket

and when you hear the tale

Don't listen to the wicked

tell you everything's for sale


To try to make you listen

I won't burn out my soul

This song is just a vision

of the story of the world